Moved To The Top - Happy Father's Day

Moved this to the top for Father's Day........
........ I pulled this post from the archives as I believe it is important in the international adoption arena to stress the significance of the father in the mix ..... not only the adoptive father, but also the many fathers, who with their wives or mothers of their children, had to make the heartbreaking decision to give up their baby for adoption due to governmental restrictions or cultural guidelines. Yes, as a male, a prospective father, I cannot imagine being placed in such an unthinkable circumstance - it would rip my heart out. So here's to the dads who make the best decisions they can for their children, the fathers who will know the joy of adding to their families - and - the fathers who agonize over releasing their precious child to a complete stranger because they are unable to care for her....

Did you know that the USA is one of the few countries that formally recognizes and celebrates "Father's Day" as a holiday? The common Chinese word for Father or Dad is: "Baba."


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to Dads and Dads to be!!! The origin of "Father's Day" varies slightly but ultimately the purpose was to honor Fathers or Father-figures. Some say it started with a woman in Washington state who wanted to honor her widowed father who raised her and her five other siblings since her mother died in childbirth. Another story comes from West Virginia during a dedicated church service. Like many traditions, we may never know... but this Sunday, we will honor, celebrate, and acknowledge men who are Fathers or Father-figures to children and adults. Thanks to Dads everywhere! Oftentimes in the world of adoption, it is the Mother that prepares the paperwork, researches and educates on the subject of parenthood and adoptive parenting, nests the home, and develops a bond to the idea of an adopted child. The maternal link of bonding and attachment pretenses this idea. We do know, however, that there are many Fathers in the adoption world that are very much involved in the adoption process. Step back from your adoption process and do your best to be sure that both parents are equally involved in the process. When it comes to Birth-Parents, our focus is typically on the Birth-Mother. What about the Birth-Father? What is his role? How do we talk to our children about him? What are the cultural implications of his contribution? Why is it that some adoptees don't think about their Birth-Father, but rather their Birth-Mother? As adoptive families, we should be careful not to create a huge separation between the Birth-Mother and the Birth-Father. We honor Birth-Mothers but too often forget about Birth-Fathers. They too, contributed to the LIFE of this precious child. Regardless of the circumstances around the conception or birth of these children, we must find a way to talk about Birth-Fathers. This concept plays an important role in the child's perception of gender equalities, future relationships and the child's relationship with their Adoptive Father. Please remember, what we say about our children's Birth-Parents ultimately is what we are saying about them.

Tip: Check with your employers to be sure that Adoptive Fathers are equally eligible for Adoption Leave, Paternal Leave, or FMLA. It is just as important for Babas to have ample time to bond to their new child as it is for Mamas!

Happy Father's Day!