Creative Things to Do While In the Waiting Room - The Osborne Family Light Show @ MGM Studios

Tuesday, November 14 - We broke out the Disney passes and headed over to MGM for a few hours to view the lights - Wow! What a power bill. This year, the tech staff upgraded the show with pulsing and dancing of the lights in synch with the Trans Siberian Orchestra Christmas selections. Their famous "Carol of the Bells" rocked as the lights dimmed and throbbed to the pounding of the music. It's quite the extravaganza and will put you right into the spirit of the Christmas season - there's even a snowfall at intervals throughout the evening.

In the pics........

---Be & Don on a side street. Don's wheelchair is out of the frame.

---Looks like the moon above the big ol' Christmas tree, no? It's really an artificial snow blob on my camera lens. The view is from a seated position in the wheelchair.

---Gargoyle on a stair post - with red eyes and if you look closely ---- Mickey ears.

Creative Things To Do While In the Waiting Room - Visit an "Open House" at a Winery

Sunday, November 12 - Lakeridge Winery, Clermont, Florida

We're not sure how many wineries there are in Florida, but we can only guess that this one is a bit different than those in Napa or Sonoma Wine Country in California. We visited back in the early 90s when there was no development, no tourism in Clermont (OK, there WAS the Citris Tower - it's still there) and the winery the was just starting to become a presence in the area (it opened in 1988). At that time, they were importing their wine from one of their other outlets, San Sebastian (up the road in St. Augustine - we escape Orlando for a weekend there annually), about the same time that Lakeridge opened.

Now, the winery produces their own product and it's quite good. We tasted about 7 different varieties and came back to my favorite ---- red. We're saving it for Thanksgiving ---- maybe.

We couldn't do the tour as Don was on crutches (the foot is coming along, but it's not even at 50% yet) but we had a fine afternoon.

SCC Videos

One of our favorite singer/song writers, Steven Curtis Chapman, is quite the spokesperson for adoption. He is a gifted wordsmith. Here are 2 of his songs with the adoption theme ..... hit the link .......

"When Love Takes You In" http://youtube.com/watch?v=V_hS3Gj6Q1o&mode=related&search=

"All I Really Want for Christmas" http://youtube.com/watch?v=kSV5xW-NLu8

The 2nd video is available in full screen format at www.bethany.org on their front page.

Creative Things to Do While In the Waiting Room - Sit On a Jury With Right Foot Elevated (See Oct 29 Item)

Looks like I need some "Creative Things to Do While In the Jury Waiting Room"

Taking suggestions until November 27.

CCAA - Update November 3, 2006

The CCAA has finished the review of the adoption application documents registered with our office before January 31, 2006.

Looking back ....... it was a year ago this month that our home study was completed. Next step ... dossier. Don was hospitalized during that period and had a lot of healing time at home. It was during recouperation that he was able to light the fire and get the dossier process going. Our documents were assembled in record time as Don was surgically attached to the telephone and handcuffed to our notary. By Christmas, the package was almost done with the exception of a copy of Don's birth certificate from the Great State of New Jersey. In fact, he informed some poor office worker at the Secretary of State's office that he would jump a plane to Philadelphia, rent a car and drive to Trenton and seek her out personally if the certificate was not in our mailbox by Friday of that week (this was after 6 weeks of dead end phone calls). We received the birth certificate on Thursday. After several adjustments and rewrites, the dossier was submitted to our agency in January, reviewed by the home office, tweaked some more and was on the way to China on March 9, 2006. We received our log-in-date (LID) of March 24, 2006 - and that's where we've been since - in the Waiting Room.

So - our documents were registered with the CCAA on March 24, 2006 and they have reviewed up until January 31, 2006. We are inching our way to our referral ...... 'scuse me while I wipe the eyes which are starting to fog up.

Congrats to all the families who are out of the review room - once again, we are envious.

God Bless Y'all,
Don & Be

Preparing Doggie for Baby - or is that - Preparing Baby for Don?

We receive e-mails from DogAge.com on regular basis and we found this one appropriate ......

Preparing Doggie for Baby
November 2, 2006
Afraid you'll have to find a new home for your pooch when baby arrives? With a little preparation, you can create a comfortable home for the entire family.Start by making a list of the rules and routines your dog now follows, highlighting which ones will need to change once you have a baby in the house. Then, start introducing the changes and teaching any new rules before the baby comes. If your dog's a bit unruly, sign him up for an obedience class. And if possible, spend time around young children to slowly introduce your dog to kid noises and movements.

Aubrey Hope Svetlana Beams

In 2003, Be & I began attending a church about 10 - 12 minutes out our front door. We connected with the worship style and joined the worship team shortly after the arrival of Jason & Stephanie Beams the following year. We learned that they were already more than a year into the adoption of a toddler from Russia but because of their move from Texas to Florida (to take the position of worship director) much of their paperwork had to be transferred from their original agency, delaying the arrival of their child. The Beams moved back to Texas recently and the wheels started turning fast and their adoption of Aubrey Hope Svetlana was finalized on September 2, 2006. She was born on January 19, 2005 and has a sister, Brynlee Beams who is 3years. We are happy and envious at the same time. Congratulations Jason, Stephanie, Brynlee & Aubrey.

Creative Things to Do While In the Waiting Room - Try Negotiating a Corn Maze

Friday morning, October 20, 2006 found us near Mount Dora, Florida in a field of corn. The event was finding your way through a series of circles and dead ends carved out of a corn field and solving puzzles with clues posted along the way. Sounds as weird as a Cirque du Soleil show and perhaps the link at the bottom of this post explains it better.

We enjoyed fellowship with members of our church's worship team and their families followed by a late lunch at the home of some new friends near Clermont.

http://www.longandscottfarms.com/CornMaze06.htm

Creative Things to Do While In the Waiting Room - Go to a 3 Dog Night Concert

Another entry in the EPCOT Food & Wine Festival concert lineup - 3 Dog Night (describing how Australian Aborigines slept with their dogs for warmth on cold nights, the coldest being a "three-dog night.") We were howlin' like dawgs as we sang along with their number 1 hits "Mama Told Me Not to Come", "Old Fashioned Live Song", "Dance to the Music (Celebrate)", "Shambala", "Joy to the World" and others too numerous to list. They even did a rap insert on "Mama".

Although primarily a vocal band (and they still sound great) the instrumentalists were given their chance to shine as well.

Creative Things to Do While In the Waiting Room - Go to a Little Richard Concert

Well, the self- proclaimed "Grandfather of Rock & Roll" did not let us down last night when we attended 2 of his 30 minute shows at EPCOT Center. Little Richard entered in a pale pink rhinestone beglittered tux with the aid of 2 canes and one of his entourage who also doubled as his trumpet player. The old boy (he's 74) was weak but he gave it his best and a great time was had by all. "Lucille", "Blueberry Hill", & "Good Golly Miss Molly" were a few of the selections on last night's song menu. At one point, LR wanted some dancers to come up on stage and was very specific about the type of woman he wanted - judging by the ladies in the above picture, you can be sure that he was not particularly politically correct in his description. I guess if you're Little Richard and you're 74, say what you want and be happy you can still say something. He said 'shut up' about 17 times during the show and hit some pretty high notes along with his famous hoots and wails.

So, Joanna, come quickly from China. Your future parents have reduced themselves to attendence at concerts by aging rock stars....... Somebody! Help me!

Souvenir from the Dark Continent

LILONGWE, Malawi -- Madonna and her husband took custody of a motherless one-year-old boy from Malawi after filing adoption papers and receiving interim approval from a judge in the impoverished southern African nation.
The boy's father said he was happy for his son, named David and pleased with the celebrity couple who want to be his parents.
Yohame Banda, the father, said he met Madonna and her film director husband Guy Ritchie at the court as part of the formalities. While they talked, Madonna, who has two children, carried the baby boy, Banda said.
"They are a lovely couple," Banda said. "She asked me many questions. She and her husband seem happy with David. I am happy for him."

Oy! I could puke. Let me say right off that I don't begrudge an impoverished child a chance for a better life........but does it have to be with Madonna? Chances are good, the child will be raised by a nanny anyway. My issue is how appropriate is Madonna when it comes to mothering? Is this adoption a ploy to make her wacko lifestyle (not to mention her freak shows) appear "normal?" Yeah----I know, I know-----"It's just a character she's playing. It's art!" Phoey! Was Madonna wearing her tophat and leathers when the talked with the boy's father and he found her so lovely? He didn't have a clue!

So, Ms Madonna......we didn't see you in that waiting room with the rest of us, did we?
Let's see. Which picture of yourself did you use? The 'Madonna Crucified' or the one with you playing piggy back with one of your dancers? How about your dossier......oh, you made it through all the background checks? Wonderful. Sorry you had to wait in that line for so long to have your fingerprints done. Who is your case worker.....Michael Jackson? And the details with all those other documents were so involved, weren't they......and look, o lovely one.....this one says that you were actually born.

Well, up to this point, I've kept the items in this blog fairly tame, due to the delicate nature of the adoption process. OK....maybe I'm a tad bit insensitive.....and now, you may be saying "So, what kind of a parent do you think YOU'LL be with all that sarcasm, Don?" Can you tell I've got a problem with some of these nutjobs? I mean, didn't adoptive parent Angelina Jolie carry an amulet of Bobby Bill's blood on a chain around her neck? (it's right there in eonline.com) Then there's Callista Flockhart. Hopefully she'll remember to feed her child. Acquiring a child may be easy for these celebrities, but in the fickle, all too strange world of Hollywood, raising them might be a different matter.

I'm so ticked right now I should probably go out and do some yard work.....



This just in ........ The above item was posted several hours prior to the following.......and don't worry......this blog is not going to become "The Adoption Enquirer"....... just had to vent ...... I'll be OK soon .....


Rights groups rap Madonna adoption bid
BLANTYRE: "Queen of Pop" Madonna jetted out of Malawi yesterday, leaving behind the 13-month-old boy she plans to mother and a storm of protests from local rights groups over the fast-track adoption process.
Malawi's leading child rights group yesterday said it would seek a court injunction to stop Madonna adopting the boy if the government did not put on hold its interim order approving the process.
"It's not like selling property," said a statement by Eye of the Child, a day after Malawi's High Court granted an interim order for Madonna to adopt David Banda.
"It is about safeguarding the future of a human being who, because of age, cannot express an opinion," said the group, adding that the government circumvented its own laws to fast-track the adoption process.
The US diva left the administrative capital Lilongwe on a private plane after a judge granted her an 18-month interim order allowing her to take David, the son of an illiterate farmer, out of the country.
However, the youngster will have to be reunited with the 48-year-old singer at a later date as vital paperwork was still to be sorted out.
"She left Malawi without David because there was little time to sort out passport and visa issues," said Penston Kilembe, director of child welfare services in the ministry of gender, children and community services.
Kilembe said David would later join Madonna, who left addresses in London and Los Angeles, where government officials can reach her and monitor the boy's progress in foster care for 18 months.
London-based Madonna, who already has two children of her own, must return at a later stage for the adoption to be given final approval.

Mia (Maria Guadalupe Wittman) Is Coming Home from Guatemala

As future parents of Joanna, we have been following the journey of my co-worker Dean Wittman in his family's journey to adopt Mia from Guatemala. Our stories parallel each other significantly so check out their web page at

wittmanbaby.com

Today, it was my pleasure to ticket Mia Wittman for her first plane ride from Guatemala City, Guatemala to Orlando, Florida USA. It took a bit longer than usual as my eyes were all fogged up during the ticketing process at the US Airways Ticket Counter at Orlando. The Wittman Family has experienced the same anxiety and sense of the unknown as Be & myself - but we both know that God had orchestrated this whole event before the beginning of time. Dean & Ali will travel to Guatemala on Thursday, October 5 - that afternoon, Mia will be a citizen of the United States of America and member of the Wittman family. The Wittmans will spend a week in Guatemala as "turistas" and return home mid-October. I was quite jealous of (and happy for) Dino, his lovely wife Ali and son, Ty as we can't wait for our arrival from China - we don't know who she is, but we want her so bad----and our waiting period will be at least another 6 months. Can you tell from the picture that they're a great looking family? (In case you have not figured it out, Mia is on the right in the pic.) God bless you, Dino, Ali, Ty & Mia........

PS - Mia, I can't wait to meet you.

(Hit the Dean Wittman Blog link on the right for the complete story)

Get Your TIckets Here, Folks - Tour the CCAA

Pictures from Top to Bottom:

1- Dossier storage area - agencies are said to be color coded - (Look, honey. I think I see our dossier. Yeah, that one! Down 3 shelves and a little over to the left........)

2- The DTV (Dossier Transport Vehicle) bringing documents from the storage area to the Review Room where they are scrutinized and fine tuned. (Wait! No, that can't be ours. Rumor Queen says they haven't made it that far yet. Oh well, pass the soy sauce, please).

3- The Review Room

4- The Matching Room - where prospective parents are matched up with waiting chilldren.

Stir Fried Facts #8 - Transracially Adopted Children’s Bill of Rights

The "Stir Fried Facts" items in our blog are usually informational e-mails from our agency, Bethany Christian Services. We have come to have respect and admiration for the staff and their mission to place children in good homes.

........................................

The symbols on the header depict our daughter's name, Joanna, in Chinese.

........................................

Transracially Adopted Children’s Bill of Rights
Adapted by Liza Steinberg Triggs from “A Bill of Rights for Mixed Folks,” by Marilyn Drame.


Every child is entitled to love and full membership in his or her family.
Every child is entitled to have his or her heritage and culture embraced and valued.
Every child is entitled to parents who value individuality and enjoy complexity.
Every child is entitled to parents who understand that this is a race conscious society.
Every child is entitled to parents who know their child will experience life in ways differently from theirs.
Every child is entitled to parents who are not seeking to “save” a child or to make the world a better place by adopting.
Every child is entitled to parents who know belonging to a family is not based on physical matching.
Every child is entitled to parents who have significant relationships with people of other races.
Every child is entitled to parents who know transracial adoption changes the family structure forever.
Every child is entitled to be accepted by his or her extended family members.
Every child is entitled to parents who know that if they are white they experience the benefits of racism because the country’s system is organized that way.
Every child is entitled to parents who know they cannot be the sole transmitter of the child’s culture when it is not their own.
Every child is entitled to grow up with items in their home environment created for and by the people of their own race or ethnicity.
Every child is entitled to have places available to make friends with people of his or her race or ethnicity.
Every child is entitled to have opportunities in his or her environment to participate in positive experiences with his or her birth culture.
Every child is entitled to opportunities to build racial pride within his or her own home, school, and neighborhood.

Don't Call Me "Mr. Mom" - What Not to Say to a Stay-at-Home Dad

I read this article on a "Stay-at-Home-Dad" site and found it amusing and informative - I hope no one takes offense to the content. It pretty much sums up how I feel - in fact, I now have some ammo, although I may use my own bizzare twist to these slightly biting responses to some rather thoughtless questions........

Don't Call Me Mr. Mom!What Not to Say to an At-Home Dad

by Buzz McClain

Men who chose to stay at home to raise the children while the mothers commute to work experience things most fathers do not. Not the least of these are the insensitive comments by people who can't comprehend the concept.
It's the price at-home dads pay for being daring and non-traditional. After all, it's not everyday you encounter an at-home dad -- then again, maybe you do and just don't realize it because they look like ordinary fathers, except they have slightly more spit-up on their shoulders -- so you can't be blamed for saying the wrong thing. Well, we're here to help.
Here are a few things that make at-home fathers cringe, according to the members of the National At-Home Dads Association, who have heard it all.


"What are you going to do when you go back to work in the real world?" Oh, how at-home dads hate this. It implies raising children isn't real and it isn't work. It is lots of both.


"Wouldn't it be better for the kids if the mother stayed at home?" No offense, but no. Studies show that working mothers are more involved in their children's lives when the father stays at home than when given over to professional day care; and because of the circumstances, the fathers are far more involved with the children than the dads who see their children only briefly after work and on weekends. The kids get two parents with strong influences.


"What do you do with all your spare time?" No matter the ages and numbers of the kids, the statement is baloney: There is no spare time. Besides seeing to the children's feeding, clothing, bedding, amusement and education, at-home dads typically assume command of household chores, from laundry to kitchen duty to lawn care. And you can't punch a clock after eight hours and go home. You ARE home.


"Who wears the pants in the family?" This implies staying at home with the children makes you less masculine; true, at-home dads are likely to wash more dishes, fold more laundry and go to the tot lot more than the father who commutes, but when mom is home dads play and watch just as much sports, ogle just as many women and perform just as many testosterone-driven activities than other fathers. And they do it with more gusto because getting out of the house means more to them.


"Oh, so you're Mr. Mom." Don't call us Mr. Mom. The kids already have a mother. At-home fathers do not replace mothers, they simply assume duties traditionally performed by them. If you must call at-home dads something, try Mr. Dad. (I prefer HOMEDADDY myself - Don's editorial comment.)


"That's a nice Mommy Wagon you drive." Ahem. It is NOT a Mommy Wagon. It's a marvelously functional all-purpose utility vehicle that just happens to have enough room to seat more than half of the Stingers Little League soccer team.


"What does your wife think about you not working?" Ordinarily a fair question, but often asked to see how the woman is handling the pressure of being the primary breadwinner. Get real: The empowerment is a heady sensation, one most women don't get to experience, and she loves it. As a bonus, she goes to the office each day knowing her baby is in good hands. Real men deal with the role change just fine, thank you.


"How can you stand to change diapers all the time?" This is likely to be asked by the "traditional man," the kind who will overhaul a greasy auto engine but can't bring himself to wipe a baby's butt. We know of one such man who, when confronted with a messy diaper, put the baby in the bathtub until the mother came home. Diapers are easy, pal. (Plum-and-sweet potato spit-up is another thing altogether.)


"Do you miss the security of having a job?" Maybe at first, but who isn't disillusioned by the general lack of loyalty companies express these days? Mergers, takeovers, layoffs, forced relocations and a slavish devotion by corporations to the bottom line are enough to rattle anyone's sense of security. An at-home dad has the job of a lifetime -- you can't be fired or transferred to a lesser position.


"What do you mean you didn't get a chance to finish the laundry?" Most often asked by frazzled wives coming home from work. Well, honey, things got really fun at the tot lot with the playgroup and we stayed a few hours longer than we expected . . .
----
Copyright © 2000, Buzz McClain.
Buzz McClain is a music critic for the Washington Post, a columnist for Rugby magazine and an at-home dad of two, Samantha and Luke.

Stir Fried Facts #7 - O.K. Now....Let's Review

We've probably ALL been through the following in some manner, shape or form with all the on-line courses and required reading in the preliminary adoption process. But lest we forget, our agency sent us the following memo......

HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD DEVELOP A POSITIVE RACE AND ADOPTION SELF-IDENTITY

Jaclyn Piotrowski, MSW

1. Refer to birth-parent, birth-culture, and birth-country in a positive light.

2. Be cautious and sensitive when talking about the adoption with others, while your child is in ear-range.

3. Talk about or plan to visit birth-country when time is appropriate for your family.

4. Be able to provide resources to your child about their birth-country/culture, without forcing the issue.

5. Allow your child to “grieve” their loss appropriately without taking it personal. This feeling is real to adoptees, and needs to be dealt with without the child feeling guilty.

6. Have a plan in place to affiliate with other support groups, adoptive family groups, or cultural groups.

7. Celebrate your child’s “adoption day” or “coming home” day.

8. Always provide a safe and open environment for your child to approach you with questions or discussions. It is important to find a safe balance between asking them questions and allowing them to come to you when they are comfortable.

9. Have ethnic dolls, role models, and friends of your child’s race so that they grow up with pride, not unfamiliarity of their own face.

10. Have a sense of humor!

11. ALWAYS be honest with your child and share information at an ‘appropriate’ age.

12. Emphasize gifts your child received from birth parents: facial features, talents, etc., even if they are different than yours!

13. The reasons for your child being placed for adoption were due to circumstances, NOT the child, make sure he/she knows that they did nothing wrong.

14. Do not judge birth parents. Remember: What you say about the birth parents, you are saying about your child.

15. Do not allow or accept racial/prejudicial remarks, jokes or comments in your presence. If you do, you are teaching your child that it is OK that others may be doing that about them.

16. Celebrate similarities ALONG with differences. If you just emphasize similarities, you’re down-playing the obvious differences, which may make your child feel shameful.

17. Integrate Christianity and “God’s Plan” for all.

18. Emphasize and reassure your children of your permanent and unconditional love.

*Keep in mind that some adopted children generally tend to be more sensitive to circumstances of serious illness, marital discord, death, separation, moves, financial upsets, transitions, and other major family losses. You want to emphasize that no matter what, you are there for your child.

September 12 - Our 25th Anniversary - Then & Now

We Have Our Vacation Pictures......

I have posted an online photo album of pics from our stellar trip to Tennessee. We stayed in Sevierville, just outside the Great Smoky Mountains National Park and hiked just about every day. With a young 'un comin', we were trying to keep up with our exercise regimen of improving stamina and increasing energy.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/MyGallery.jsp?&UAUTOLOGIN_ID=77203329211

On some computers, you may need to cut & paste into your address line ....... others may take you directly to the site by clicking on the above address.

The photo of the old mill was taken at Cades Cove in the National Park - I did the antique treatment on Photoshop.

Stir Fried Facts #6 - Insurance for the Child of Promise

We received the following e-mail from our case worker regarding health insurance for the Child of Promise..........

Many families have questions regarding medical/health insurance coverage and the adopted child. During the formal application process, all families are asked to have their employer (HR representative or health care carrier) sign the "Affidavit of Health Insurance Coverage" form. This is your verification that your employer/health care carrier will cover the adopted child.

When considering China's children with special needs ("Children of Promise"), it would behoove families to verify with their particular health insurance carriers what is considered "pre-identified" and what exactly is (and in some cases, is not) covered.

In most cases, medical or health insurance coverage by law, begins at physical placement. The moment your child is physically placed in your arms, your health insurance begins to cover your child, whether the adoption has been finalized or not. For example, in China, if you receive your child on a Tuesday, the adoption registration and finalization is on Wednesday, and you arrive back in the U.S. the following Monday (your child becomes a U.S. citizen the moment the plane lands on U.S. soil), her/his health insurance coverage began on Monday, the day you physically received her.

If you have difficulties adding your adopted child to your health insurance coverage plan, contact your social worker. Your social worker will be able to compose a letter explaining the lawful requirements for adopted children. Most health insurance carriers are typically informed, but there may be some that are not familiar with internationally adopted children. This may be your opportunity to help educate them, which can benefit other adoptive families down the road! Other times, you may need to involve your Congress person or contact your State Insurance Commissioner. Nonetheless, what is most important is that your adopted child be treated equally to a biological child, even when it comes to health care coverage.

Please see the following articles about this topic:

http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/health_ins.pdf#search=%22Health%20Insurance%20Coverage%20for%20Adopted%20Children%22

http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/health-insurance-for-adopted-children.html

http://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/index.php/Adoption

We're Clean!!!!! - Fingerprints Sent by FBI (AGAIN) to US Consulate in Guangzhou

Wow! Am I EVER looking for progress to post on this blog! We have received word from the FBI that (once again - $70 bucks a pop ....... EACH!!!) our prints are without criminal history and the most recent update has been sent to the Consulate which will process Joanna's US Citizenship status when we bring her to the States, hopefully in March or April 2007.

Here's an interesting tid-bit. Be was selected for jury duty in Orange County, Florida this month. When she reported, she was called into the judges' chambers and informed that her SSN was matched up with a child molester in St. John's County. She told the powers-at-be that she had been through a thorough background check and was in the process of adoption from China - and even did the FBI fingerprint yaddah. After further investigation, it was revealed that the offender was dead and even of a different race. Oy!

I'll post a link to our latest vacation pictures this week ...... Cheers! Don

Fingerprints ......Done! ....... Again........

Our FBI fingerprint file expires in October, so in order to keep our adoption documents active, we needed to have them re-done. Our scheduled appointment was for 8 AM, yesterday, August 19. As we approached the Immigrations Office on schedule, we took note of the line in front of the building ...... about 50 - 60 people. We looked at each other and the expressions said "Oy! We'll be here for hours ....... and government employees!"
So the door opens to reveal a series of snake line airport type queueing ropes. We watched as applicatants took their clipboards with the pen-on-a-chain and the same form we had filled out last year and sat down on the same plastic orange stacking chairs. We received ours and sat down and filled out our form and realized that hardly any of the previous 50 or so people had moved from their seats. Then it hit us ...... ENGLISH!!!!! The form was in English! All of these people were applying for citizenship and did not yet speak the language! We promptly turned in our form and after a short review of our responses, we received positions 7 & 8 for the fingerprinting procedure.
With the exception of 1 employee who was just doin' her job, we found the staff to be accommodating and surprizingly courteous. Now, if they could just send a bit of that over to our local Driver License Office........ We were done in just under 30 minutes.
Do I hear breakfast at Cracker Barrel?

August 2005 - One Year Ago......

Surprize, surprize......Be and Don are in the 5th month of the adoption process of a child from China. We had been working on the idea for a few years, however, life's circumstances did not permit us to go forward with it until this year. The plan is that Don will retire from US Airways next year to coincide with the adoption closure. At that point, Don's new full time job will be father to whoever God sends our way. Be will continue to work at ORMC in her real job.The adoption process is quite involved with a mountain of paperwork, required reading, online courses, home studies, physical exams and blood work, FBI approval and then there's the referral and acceptance process and travel to China for up to 3 weeks to live and bond with the child.China has a model adoption program (mostly because they want to get rid of unwanted kids) and even though the process seems extreme, it's the best fit for Be and myself with our circumstances. So, we're looking at April 2007 until our new arrival comes back to Orlando with us. Your prayers during this process are much appreciated. We figure God has quite a sense of humor ........ a Chinese kid with the name Schafhauser?
As things progress, we'll keep friends and family posted with this page...........

We're Baaaccckkk.....

We took a week off and went up to the Smoky Mountains, TN. No agenda, no plans, no nothin'. We hiked (and hiked some more), did some white water rafting, saw a few shows and some friends (pic taken on their dock at Norris Lake). More shots to follow.......it was a stellar trip!

One Year Ago .......

...... we started our blog as a ledger of our adoption journey. Check out the posts for Aug & Sep 2005 for items about the beginnings of our process .....

Stir Fried Facts #5 - The Orphanage

Received this e-mail from our case worker today.......

Many families ask if they will be able to visit their child's orphanage while in China. They also inquire about visiting the reported abandonment site. An adopted child's past can be very mysterious. As adoptive parents, we try to do our best to gather information for our children. We realize that when they grow older, they may have questions about where they are from. Thinking about these issues now is a great start! Whether visiting your child's orphanage is possible or not, what is critical is that you are in their birth-country experiencing things that you can share with them later in life. You can take photos of daily life, tell your child what China looks like, smells like, and what the people are like. You can purchase things that represent China. You have also breathed the same air as their birth-parents... There are some Provinces in China that do not allow for families to visit the orphanages. In other Provinces, the decision lies with the orphanage director. Sometimes it just depends on the day. A few reasons why orphanages do not permit visitors: -Very honestly, some are embarrassed by their facilities. They may not be clean or luxurious. In the past, there have been some families that made rude comments or showed their disgust in reference to the orphanage standards. -New visitors bring new germs. -They may not have time to entertain guests. The caretakers priority is to care for the children. Oftentimes, there is a lot of preparation for visitors (cleaning, preparing foods, etc.). -They may not have the funds to entertain guests. -The orphanage may be too far away from the capital city of the Province you are staying in. -There may not be safe roads to travel to the orphanage from your hotel or the weather may not be conducive to country traveling. -When families have visited in the past, it is difficult not to pick up the babies/children in the orphanage. Although this may be temporarily satisfying for the visitors and the children momentarily, it leaves the caretakers with many screaming children after the visitors leave :o(( -Some Provinces simply do not allow for adoptive families to visit or have direct contact with the orphanage. Should you be a family that is privileged to visit your child's orphanage, there are a few things to keep in mind: -It would be appropriate (and sometimes expected) to bring additional donations or money along to the visit. Please be mindful and respectful of the cultural differences. -Keep the visit and visitors limited, you are bringing new germs into the environment. -Do NOT bring your child back to the orphanage. After they have been removed from the orphanage and their caretakers, it may be traumatic for them to return again to see their surroundings, caretakers and little friends that are left behind. This may cause regression in your child's attachment to you. It can also be very difficult for other children remaining in the orphanage to see families parading through with their little friends. One parent can stay back at the hotel with the child, while the other parent travels to the orphanage. -Take health precautions (for your sake and the children in the orphanage) before and after entering the orphanage. -Ask first before taking photos or video. If they request no photos be taken, please honor this request. Oftentimes, the children in the orphanage may not be available for adoption or may be matched with another family. We need to protect their privacy. -This may be an orphanage with a lot of money and they are hoping to "show off" their accomplishments. Be complimentary! -This may be a very poor orphanage that is opening it's doors to visitors in hopes for extra donations. Be generous! -Please remember... there are families that are behind you in the process, please do not do anything that would prevent other families from having this amazing experience too. Depending on the conditions of the orphanage or your own experience, an orphanage visit may trigger many difficult emotions for you too, as a parent. We may or may not know whether an orphanage visit will be possible before you depart the U.S. Sometimes these trips are unpredictable. Possible orphanage donations: In addition to the required $3,000 orphanage donation that is a part of the China country fee, here are some additional suggestions: U.S. cash is always preferred. With the cash, the orphanage can purchase what they need, when they need it. Some families pool their monies and go shopping with Shiyan to make purchases. Some large items that may have been purchased in China include a commercial washer & dryer, cooking appliances, cribs, formula, and medical equipment. Other smaller items that families can bring from the U.S. are: Tylenol Cold meds for babies & children, child suppositories, dried prunes, antibiotics. These can be used for your child or donated to the orphanages.

Fingerprints ..... again!

Well, it's been a year since my posting about our fingerprinting episode last year .... (see "Archives" - Immigrations Aggitations & Illuminations). So, since they expire in October (their life span is 15 months) we'd best get them re-done since this paperwork pregnancy is taking a lot longer than we had opriginally planned. Be and I have just sent in our request for the re-deux and perhaps this will serve as a reminder to our visitors to check the date of your last printing - and renew as needed. Here's the site with the info .......

http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/formsfee/index.htm

The Cockatiel With the Fur Coat

Streets of St. Augustine

Where do Orlandoans go to escape the Magic Kingdom? Many head to St Augustine. We recently overnighted at a Bed & Breakfast at "The Oldest City in America" and took to the streets of the old city at about 7 AM, before the other tourists came out. Here are a few shots of our morning.....

Pictures .... from the top .......

The Victorian Inn (the floor in our room sloped and we slept with heads at the foot end of the bed

Be & B & B

Cemetary on Spanish Street

Be & Waterwheel

Artist Row

Charlotte Street

Aviles Street

Saint George Street

New Thrill Ride from China

We've gotta save some time on our China journey to experience this!

I guess this means I'll have to pack a suit......

China McBaby

Parents in the Waiting Room

We had our second meeting of the Orlando area "Future Parents of Chinese Children" last Monday and benefited from a few tidbits of info that were passed on by our guest of the week.
The meeting was held at the Mongolian BBQ in Orlando (all you can eat) and our guest was a church member who had gone on a mission trip to China to work in an orphanage. She and her husband presented a short slide and video show which included a serenade by some of the orphanage's residents. They were beautiful! I never heard anything that sounded so much like cats in heat that sounded so beautiful! The expressions of gratitude on the faces of the children were radiant.
Our speaker indicated that the orphanage they worked in had several 'closed to visitors' areas which included the dorms. She speculated that due to funding, the staff were not able to keep some areas 'up to par' with others.
Another interesting item - Don't be surprized if the orphange hands over your new child in clothing which may not appear to be the newest. The orphanage personnel realize that the children will have clothing above and beyond what the facility can provide and save the better clothing for the children who will stay behind. Even if you send new clothing to YOUR child, chances are it will be given to another.
More next month after our meeting........

Bethany Christian Services Golf Tournament - June 15 - Diamond Player's Club, Clermont, FL

Don here.........

I had the opportunity to volunteer for a charity benefit for our adoption agency this past week. Not being a golfer myself, I had a few questions when approched about working the tournament.

What kind of tournament was it? I found out that a 'scramble' does not mean that you play with different players on each hole, but refers to an event when groups of players start their game at the same time on different holes and play until they've completed the course.

OK ..... so what will I be doing? I would be monitoring the 'closest to the pin' contest on hole 14. I had watched enough golf to know what my duties would be so I set out with my co-monitor, Kyle, another volunteer, and we drove our golf cart out to our location. "So, where's our air conditioned monitor's booth?" This is the middle of June in central Florida and we're out here for the next 3+ hours and no air conditioning? Relax, Don. The first group in the scramble started at hole 13 so as soon as they play through, you can head back to the clubhouse for about 90 minutes while the other 8 gtoups play through. Cool.

So, the first group sets up to tee off and realizes that the markers are not properly spaced. They start complaining to me - like I had the answer. Well, apparently I did because I told them just to put all the markers together and everyone in the tournament would tee off from the same place. First group was fine with that, and no one else complained, and a sacred hush fell over tee 14 as the first golfer wacked the ball. The rest of the group finished and I told Kyle "This should have been a 'closest to the sandtrap' contest." We howled and waited for the next group to come through and then we headed back for our break.

Kyle drove back, and on the way I said "Kyle, tell be about that tattoo." He had a wooden cross, about 6 inches long, with a crown of thorns tattooed on his arm. Kyle said that he had just graduated high school, played football for his school and found out during his senior that he had cancer. I was floored! Here was an 18 year old who appeared perfectly healthy ---- and he was a cancer survivor! He said he wants to carry the cross for the rest of his life to remind him that Christ had already suffered the pain for him. After several surgeries, he is cancer free! I told him that my wife, Be, is also a cancer survivor and we both realized all we had to be thankful for.(Note- don't be afraid to have whatever tests it takes for early cancer detection - Be and Kyle are living examples of survivors who benefited from early detection.)

So, we get back to the clubhouse and cool off. I came across our adoption case worker, Sallie, who said she wanted to see the course but was stuck in the clubhouse until the groups finished up their play. I took this as an opportunity to chat with her about a few of my adoption issues, so I told her to hop in the cart and I'd show her around. She grabbed her camera and off we went, photographing various groups along the way. We talked about my future child and how great it will be that she'll have a full time parent as well as our unique circumstances concerning our ages. We had a fine time and as we were headed back to the clubhouse, we went up a steep slope and the cart was groaning to make it to the top. I began to sing "Climb Every Mountain" and stopped short in horror realizing ......"Here I am ..... sitting with my adoption case worker ...... on a golf course ...... I'm a guy and I'm singing show tunes!!!!!" My fears were brought to a hault when she took the song up where I left off and we finished it in two part harmony. I think we both had a bit too much sun.......

So Kyle and I went back to hole 14 and on the way we passed the biggest (largest) foursome who truly tested the structural integrity of their golf carts. Kyle asked "Are those guys supposed to be athletes?" I responded "Yeah. I think there must be a sumo wrestlers' golf tournament here today also." We howled and finished out our day at hole 14.

Sallie promised to keep the duet under wraps.....

Moved To The Top - Happy Father's Day

Moved this to the top for Father's Day........
........ I pulled this post from the archives as I believe it is important in the international adoption arena to stress the significance of the father in the mix ..... not only the adoptive father, but also the many fathers, who with their wives or mothers of their children, had to make the heartbreaking decision to give up their baby for adoption due to governmental restrictions or cultural guidelines. Yes, as a male, a prospective father, I cannot imagine being placed in such an unthinkable circumstance - it would rip my heart out. So here's to the dads who make the best decisions they can for their children, the fathers who will know the joy of adding to their families - and - the fathers who agonize over releasing their precious child to a complete stranger because they are unable to care for her....

Did you know that the USA is one of the few countries that formally recognizes and celebrates "Father's Day" as a holiday? The common Chinese word for Father or Dad is: "Baba."


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to Dads and Dads to be!!! The origin of "Father's Day" varies slightly but ultimately the purpose was to honor Fathers or Father-figures. Some say it started with a woman in Washington state who wanted to honor her widowed father who raised her and her five other siblings since her mother died in childbirth. Another story comes from West Virginia during a dedicated church service. Like many traditions, we may never know... but this Sunday, we will honor, celebrate, and acknowledge men who are Fathers or Father-figures to children and adults. Thanks to Dads everywhere! Oftentimes in the world of adoption, it is the Mother that prepares the paperwork, researches and educates on the subject of parenthood and adoptive parenting, nests the home, and develops a bond to the idea of an adopted child. The maternal link of bonding and attachment pretenses this idea. We do know, however, that there are many Fathers in the adoption world that are very much involved in the adoption process. Step back from your adoption process and do your best to be sure that both parents are equally involved in the process. When it comes to Birth-Parents, our focus is typically on the Birth-Mother. What about the Birth-Father? What is his role? How do we talk to our children about him? What are the cultural implications of his contribution? Why is it that some adoptees don't think about their Birth-Father, but rather their Birth-Mother? As adoptive families, we should be careful not to create a huge separation between the Birth-Mother and the Birth-Father. We honor Birth-Mothers but too often forget about Birth-Fathers. They too, contributed to the LIFE of this precious child. Regardless of the circumstances around the conception or birth of these children, we must find a way to talk about Birth-Fathers. This concept plays an important role in the child's perception of gender equalities, future relationships and the child's relationship with their Adoptive Father. Please remember, what we say about our children's Birth-Parents ultimately is what we are saying about them.

Tip: Check with your employers to be sure that Adoptive Fathers are equally eligible for Adoption Leave, Paternal Leave, or FMLA. It is just as important for Babas to have ample time to bond to their new child as it is for Mamas!

Happy Father's Day!

In the Archives.........

For new visitors to our blog......

We are in a very LONG waiting "post-log-in" period where we need to exercise the virtue of patience for the next 9 months or so. Consequently, most of our posts are either comics, funny pics or informational items we find on other sites re: Adoption in China. So, for the more personal stuff, you have to go into the Archives. Here are a few posts which document the beginning of our adventure.........

August 2005 Adoption? ... Why Now?
September 2005 Immigrations Agitations & Illuminations
November 2005 2 X 4
April 2006 Let's Talk Paperwork
April 2006 Chinese Baby Ultrasound (Log In Date Announcement)

You'll also find other gems along the way ..........

Some Beautiful Scenes from China

Cut and paste the link to your address line (or click below if site reference appears as a link) and take a look at these fine pics from China. The site also includes links to other photos........

http://scenery.cnd.org/Scenery/nature2/